just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
