I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
