Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
