Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
