I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When did angry sex become our thing?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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