I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
