Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
