1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
