similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
