Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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