Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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