Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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