she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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