Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
a search helicopter?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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