I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
