I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
