Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
