I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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