the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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