i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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