Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
