Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
