I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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