i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
