my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
