He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
