I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
