It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
