Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
