Welp...herpes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
