I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
