I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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