You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
