My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
