At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Semen is not good for contacts.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
