But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize