Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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