and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
