i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
