Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
True strength comes from lack of pants
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
