You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
