I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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