office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this beer tastes like vomit already
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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