He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
