Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Success! We fucked roommates!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
