i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize