I didn't shave. On purpose
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
