It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's the barista slut.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
