she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
