I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
