The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
