You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
