On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Sponge bath it is.
Nicole vs. Life
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
