Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
