Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
