we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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