Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
