Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
