dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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